ask a fellow waitress

Dear Marina supposedly-Pac Heights girl,

Look. I know you live in a pristine neighborhood. I know there are lots of pretty people, and pretty shops, and pretty restaurants in your part of the city. But you've only lived in the city for six months, so let me hit you with some knowledge. Your part of the city? It is nice and all, but it is very uniform.

There is another part of the city. It's not quite as clean. Its establishments are, at times, a bit more seedy. And yes, you do actually have to be alert and awake walking around this part of the city, because if you look like you do, Marina supposedly-Pac Heights girl, like a deer in the headlights, well, someone may actually ask you for some spare change. Ooooh, scary, I know.

I know you are young and frightened, but have a little dignity. Have a little self-respect. Do not cower when someone is good enough to invite you outside of your little cocoon. Acceptable responses are the following:

• No thanks, I am more of a Marina supposedly-Pac Heights type (that's not really my scene is a suitable stand-in).
  
  
• Yes, thanks for inviting me to your neighborhood!
  
  
• Maybe another time.

Unacceptable responses, on the other hand, are:

• Ewww... are we really going to go there? It looks like a dive.

Hey, guess what? We are not doing anything. I am going to a dive. If you, and your Marina supposedly Pac-Heights sensibilities, cannot handle such an excursion, feel free to decline. And no, I will not consider a last minute change of venue to such places as Harry's or Cozmo's. No thanks- that's not really my scene.

No need to thank me. I am doing my part in the outreach program my neighborhood is sponsoring. There is an education component to that outreach that I had clearly forgotten to include.

Yours,
Noe Valley border Mission girl