Wednesday, October 10, 2007

on a long taxi ride

Even though it's entirely likely that I've become so boring that no one is interested in any of my ramblings anymore, and it is an absolute certainty that I should be studying right now, I am still inclined to put a little something out there.

So there are two guys that are seeing me through this whole experience, guys that are not in med school with me, but are in med school with me, if you know what I mean. Both of them have toyed with the idea of becoming a physician at some point, but they have very different ideas about my decision to do this:

  • RR is living vicariously through me in some ways. He cheerleads, he tolerates my whining about missing some stupid question on some stupid quiz, he allows me to brush some of it off but he also encourages healthy fear. He wants me to get some scary board score and match to a ridiculous residency. He has threatened bodily harm if I were to change my mind at some point during this process and decided to become a basketweaver (not that I have any problems with basketweavers, but we can safely conclude that RR has a big problems with them, and with me becoming one of them).

  • W constantly struggles with whether I am doing the right thing. It tickles me a bit because he's more worried about it than I am. In a recent email, he worried that I would lose my soul in the process. He thinks poorly of medicine and the medical profession. I would never dare tell him about any anxiety about an exam, because he would probably fly to the US and stage an intervention. On the other hand, he's kind of hilariously channeling one of my masi's right now, because he recently told me he's convinced that I'm going to swoon for someone during this experience (for the record, I find that notion laughable, and the idea of dating another medical student/doctor makes me throw up in my mouth a little).

So, they're two very different dudes. And they are both bringing their own biases and demons into their ideas of my life. But I don't mind that really. Actually, I feel rather grateful to have them at all involved in my life. They serve as my yin and yang. To one, I can discuss the details of class and annoying medical students and all such minutiae that in the moment feels much more momentous. To the other, I can discuss the philosophical conundrums, the concerns about not wanting to become someone I am not. I feel, in a way, that they keep me anchored at the right point with their tugging in opposite directions. I care so much about both of them, and value both of their opinions so that I like them both pulling at me. But at the same time, I'm happy they're both there, counteracting the other.

In other news, Indian Uncle came through with two more moments of awesomeness:

    #1: He said, "I have a great uterus!" at one point in lab. This is funny coming from any male, but coming from Indian Uncle just sent it over the top.

    #2: He was talking to me about an upcoming exam, and said, "I'm shit-scared yaar!" As my fellow classmates would probably say, OMG, I heart you, Indian Uncle!

Also, yay for new Radiohead! I've only heard Reckoner but I love what's happening with it. I kind of feel like Radiohead knows how to give electronic music soul, if that makes any sense.

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