I'm not sick but I'm not well

Well, here's something that is going to sound a little crazy, but given that probably 2 people are reading this, I figure I can proceed safely. I have to admit that I strangely like pushing myself to do things I don't think I'm capable of and getting sick. It's a weird combination, but then sometimes I operate in the extremes.

I like the pushing myself part, because it really puts you in awe. There are always all of these feelings of I can't running through my head about a variety of things. And don't get me wrong- I don't spend medical school pulling all-nighters or anything-- in fact, I still have a lifetime record of only one all-nighter, and that was, typically enough for me, not a school related all-nighter, go figure. But I like the pushing. I like thinking I can't and then finding that, oops, I can after all. There are plenty of times at my age that I think I'll never get the hang of something. But keep at it, and the brain and the body adapt. They absorb, they assimilate, and suddenly, si se puede, what do you know.

At the other extreme, of course, is getting sick. I'm, of course, not talking about serious illness, because there's nothing particularly enjoyable about that. But if pushing myself gives me confidence, getting sick knocks me off my block a bit and humbles me. The body just trumps all and says, sorry, closed for business, and all you can do is succumb. I suppose it's one of the few perks of being sick- it's a forced rest.

It sucks that the forced rest occurred while I am on a very brief vacation, and was planning to bake the entire day. But it's neat, because there's a war going on in there, I imagine. My immune system is fighting the good fight, clearing out the virus or the bacteria that thought it could colonize me. Me, I'm just an innocent bystander. This sore throat and enlarged lymph nodes, and stuffy sinuses, they're all a result of the battle inside. And for once, that internal conflict has nothing to do with feelings or thoughts, difficult decisions or melancholy ponderings. No, this war is a simple one, and all I have to do is rest and wait for my immune system to triumph.

Or maybe this is a sign that I have encephalitis, because I'm talking a little loco.