Wednesday, May 10, 2006

If you go a million miles away

Recently, oodles described one devil's spawn, a co-worker who seemed to have Debbie Downer syndrome, or some kind of V for Vendetta action going on, a woman bent on bringing oodles down. When she first told me about it, I was indignant. How dare devil's spawn? Who did this bitch think she was? oodles has currently taken out a restraining order to prevent me from entering her office and kicking this woman's ass. Okay, I might be exaggerating on that last part, but only slightly.

Ummm, yeah... except that I got an email from W today about The Goal, that included this gem:
Overall, he says that the pay is good and the amount of stressful work is low, but the interest level is rock bottom. He described it as a cookie cutter process with no real ingenuity or this really what you're looking for, dude?

Okay, let's put aside my obvious lurve for him, especially in that he ended the question with dude. Technically, this is devil's spawn behavior, from a friend, no less. And I cannot claim that he is a first-time offender in this regard either.

But here is where it gets interesting, for me, at least. I so value what certain friends think. I so value it that it can be the difference between me waking up in the morning or burying my head in a pillow. But his email did not have even the slightest impact on me.

As you get to know yourself better, you learn that everyone else only knows some piece of you. As you realize that two people ever getting each other completely is an impossibility, you actually find yourself comforted by reality. It gets complicated. There are still things about me that other people know better than I do. Even now, I know there will be a day when W will write with some observation about me that is spot-on and forces me to face something I never saw about myself. But it gets easier, as time passes, to know what is certain and what is shaky about you.

I feel rather invincible writing all of this. Which usually means I am about to get sucker punched. No matter. I dare not even outline what lies ahead of me, lest these unexpected powers should wilt faced with the enormity of the coming months. All I can do is do what I must. I don't mean to go all San Francisco, new-age-y on you all, but it really is worthwhile to stay in the present.

And all I really ask for is this: give me a little Vaughn, JJ, for the love of all that is good and decent in this world!

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