don't think about it, boy leave her alone

It could just be the fact that I am still unable to eat solid food, but I have not had the capacity to write anything that resembles substance for the past several days. I don't think it's just nutrient deprivation though. There is only so much brooding and introspection a person can handle, and then, silliness explodes forth, demanding to be indulged.

When I think back on the way I listen to music, I can similarly trace a path of absurd mood swings. That is probably why I will never be considered anyone with true musical cred- I am rather promiscuous when it comes to taste. There has been some appropriate period in my life when I have listened to almost every genre of music. And while this means I will never really have a mastery of any one area of music, it also means I always have somewhere to go.

I love poetry, but I turn to poetry at specific times, when I feel quite a specific way. But music- music I can turn to regardless of my mood. I will always find something that suits me. In fact, I always know things have officially gone out of control in my life when I simply cannot find a song that gets me at a particularly high or low point. Music has made me doubt relationships, it has given me confidence in decisions I have made. I know that ultimately, maybe, music does not mean anything. But everybody has their something, their something they rely on. And a good song will never let you down.

So, there are times when I spend a lot of time contemplating songs, and how significant they have been, and how they conjure up piercing memories. But then there are other times, times like now, when I just want to listen to an entertaining song, a harmless song. And lately, you know, JT has been everywhere in the realm of harmless songs. And while that suits me just fine right now, given the strange cloud I have been floating on for the past few weeks, most of the new JT has been striving for some kind of edge- like look at me, I'm all growed up, y'all! That's fine too. Still, sometimes you just want JT to be a bit of a sissy, and Signs gets that point across pretty well. It has a good beat, you can dance to it, but you also can't help laughing a little at JT- it makes perfect sense when Charlie Wilson pipes in, "you ain't got that Snoop Doggy Dogg style".

That is kind of what does not compute to me right now about JT. At this point, I have to admit to liking his music, because it's just kind of infectious and undeniable. But I do not understand how I am supposed to think of him as edgy or even, yikes, sexy. Maybe that is actually a sign that I am getting old, that I find it impossible to swoon for someone so boyish. The kid is funny. The kid can dance. But still, he can appear with Ludacris, Snoop Dogg, Timbaland, whoever he wants- and it will just highlight the contrast between them and him. Them: men. Him: boy.

What I particularly like about Signs is that it seems to have fun with that very contrast. While T.I & Timbaland try to prop JT up in the new songs, patting him on the back and treating him like one of their own, Signs is more old school. Even though Snoop is not exactly hard core these days, that makes it all the funnier that he is almost ignoring JT in Signs. Maybe I am interpreting it all wrong, but you know, my interpretation makes the song more amusing. So, as I have been prone to saying of late, I win!

If only I had not killed so many brain cells over the past month, if only the roof of my mouth was not on fire from swelling, perhaps I would be able to write worth a damn. Then again, maybe these are all excuses. I'll get down to it again tomorrow and see if that makes any difference. In the meanwhile, have a listen to Signs and see if it suits your mood or not.