There were all these thoughts running through my head, all these mundane musings firmly lodged in a navel-gazing theme, all introspection and reflection. But I couldn’t bring myself to write them down. I couldn’t write about a stunning, stunning show I was treated to Thursday night, thanks wholly to maisnon. I couldn’t write about seeing two old friends after over a decade. I couldn’t write about annoyances small and large, or the baking I’ve done to keep myself sane.
I’d start to write these things down, and the ruse was so evident that even I wasn’t buying it. My brain’s been doing a fantastic job of shutting down paths that lead to the one big thing for this week. I can honestly say I haven’t spent time pondering why you have to give up one love for another. There have not been waves of melancholy when walking through my neighborhood. No acknowledgements have been made of all the lasts of this week.
Is it denial? Is it just that, as you get older, you don’t spend time wallowing in the what ifs? Is it just that there was so much to be done this week that I was unable to spend any time considering how much is ending? I don’t know. But I do know that it doesn’t feel uncomfortable, to feel in this feet-first, facing-forward mode of existence. It makes sense…for now.
Oh yeah, and I am going to Europe in a week. In a week! And I haven’t booked a single hotel room. I know that, for some of you, this seems perfectly okay, but this is not my usual style. I’m glad to be pushing myself out of my comfort zone, but I can’t claim it was deliberate- more just a case of procrastination and lack of internet getting the best of me.
After the red-eye tonight, I get to EBF, where, hilariously enough, internet connectivity will be much improved for me. Hilarious because I might be the only Indian person whose parents are more internet savvy than she is. Anyway, that means I will get back to stalking all of your blogs and being generally more present. That was probably going to happen anyway, though, because I predict 24 hours with the parents will be enough to drive me out of my mind.
Saturday, April 28, 2007
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