Monday, June 25, 2007

eyes that know me and I can't go back

It's in many ways unfair of me to post the song I'm putting up this week. See, just after I decided to take a break from the blog thang, I stumbled into a theater in San Francisco with a few hours to kill, and saw a movie that made me smile from ear to ear. There is really nothing to this film. It's not gut-wrenchingly deep, and there is something about it that is very, very small. But precious. And not precious as in too precious, but just precious in the way you want to hold it in your cupped hands and admire it.

The thing about Once is that I was not sold from the first frame. Yes, it draws you in immediately, and you have a lot of questions. You are curious about the characters. But I remained unsure until the scene when this song appears on screen like a present being delicately unwrapped. Then I found myself smiling from ear to ear. Really, there may be more music than dialogue in this film, and this is my kind of musical, or music video, or whatever you want to call it. I have already ruined the experience of watching it by posting this song, to some extent, because there is something a bit magical about discovering this song in the recesses of a dark theater. But I will not ruin the experience further by rambling on too much about why I thought the movie was so lovely. I am just glad I saw it when I had the chance, because it is definitely not playing anywhere in the vicinity of EBF.

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So, obviously, I have not stopped blogging. I do not like the idea of being pushed out of it, of fleeing. If I go, I would like to leave of my own accord. Blogging is a 100% selfish activity, and I do not want to stay or leave for anyone but myself. It is boring to talk about why I feel I have to write. But I missed writing in this semi-organized manner for the brief time I held back. And though I have misgivings, and there are uncertainties about the future, I suppose that is always true. For now, there is still some garbage in my head with which I need to pollute the blogosphere. And though bloggers are dropping out in pandemic numbers this summer, one luminary is back showing everyone how it should be done. I find that inspiring.

And even though I love to proclaim to all the poor souls who do know about my blog that I never really expected anyone to read or comment, my nose would be going the way of Pinnochio's if I were to say that I was not touched by all the kind comments from the last post. I keep telling myself not to be influenced by them, because there are probably just as many people who drop by here, take a browse, roll their eyes and head along their merry way. But you know, I'm not made of stone, so of course, I melt all the same.

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