Wednesday, July 11, 2007

that solo's awful long

To observe proper penance for the disturbing Coca-Cola baking crimes of yesterday, some biscotti was made today. It looked like this:

I don't think it's going to happen anymore

This biscotti had apricot, white chocolate, and almonds in them, among other things. They need work, but this was the first time I'd even ever made biscotti (I've unfortunately suffered from having not one friend who even likes biscotti, so there hasn't been much of a draw to date), so I can live with it. And (worry not) that is all I will say about baking today.

Instead, I'll assault your other senses, by telling you a little about Transformers. Of course, if last weekend's numbers are any indication, all of you have already seen it so you really do not need anyone deconstructing it for you. But whatever, I shall provide you my thoughts anyway:

  • If you are of my generation and you watched the Transformers television show (which I did because, much to my mom's dismay, I was an utter tomboy at the time), you will be hard-pressed to dislike the movie. I'm not really sure why there were little children in the movie theater, because, conversely, I really do not get how you could truly enjoy the movie without having seen the television show.

  • Shia LaBeouf earned his stripes. I was pretty skeptical when I heard he was playing a major role in the new Indiana Jones installment, because a) River Phoenix, now and forever, b*tches, and b) playing against Harrison Ford in these movies should be left to heavy-hitters like Sean Connery. However, I have to say that the kid did well in this movie. In fact, he might have been the only thing in the movie that made sense at any given moment.

  • Sure, the women in the movie were pretty much window dressing, but let's just all admit that when Michael Bay is involved, the bar is set dismally low anyway. When you compare against Liv Tyler (Armageddon) and Kate Beckinsale (Pearl Harbor), Megan Fox actually fared pretty well.

  • This movie would have been just okay, and maybe even unbearable given the length, if it weren't for the constant parade of "Hey, It's That Guy!" visitations. Jon Voight might be out of his mother-loving mind, but when he pops up in a movie, I always feel I'm in for something amusing. A Bernie Mac cameo, even though it's not that amusing? Absolutely. I will stop and watch nearly anything if Anthony Anderson shows up. And, John Turturro? Acting zany and a bit maniacal? Come on- everyone knows that you don't F*ck with the Jesus.

  • Even given all of this, I still would have preferred to watch Live Free or Die Hard, for a multitude of reasons. The biggest reason is that Transformers would have been better if it had been an hour shorter. A whole hour. No joke.

So there you have it. Moving logistics are currently placing my brain in very real danger of exploding. I understand that things happen, but saying that all of your belongings could arrive in a place any time over a 10-day range and that you must be present at all times during a 10-day range just doesn't strike me as even vaguely reasonable for a normal human being. This may call for a trip to New York. Now.

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