blood of the lazarus heart

Should I be concerned that the first thing I read today was entitled Broken Heart Syndrome?? Sadly, this was not some self-help, Dr. Phil article. This was an article in NEJM- don't ask me why I was reading this journal, I am not a doctor (by the way, I always have this uncontrollable urge to follow that phrase with "but I play one on tv"... but hardly anyone ever gets it). Anyway, bottom-line:

"Emotional stress can precipitate severe, reversible left ventricular dysfunction in patients without coronary disease. Exaggerated sympathetic stimulation is probably central to the cause of this syndrome."

If you want to read the whole thing, you might be able to check it out here. Crikey! So, dudes, seriously, cheer up, or else...

The things I do to amuse myself at work are woefully pathetic. The latest? Last week, at lunch, my coworker Richie Rich and I were sitting at a table with a guy we'll call Blandie, because he is. We have been trying to figure out if this guy will ever show signs of life. To test him, we swiped a bottle of tabasco sauce from the table and put it in Blandie's backpack when he wasn't looking. We waited. Days passed by. Maybe a week. Our panel of scientists (me & Richie Rich) had nearly concluded that the guy was a lost cause. There were some objections on my part, namely that perhaps, rather than a lack of personality, he simply does not use his backpack very often. Just as we were getting ready to complete the experiment, Blandie showed up with the tabasco, albeit in a failed attempt to hide it in Richie's office. To that we say: "well played sir!" Ever since this incident, we have been searching for a new victim. Today, we found her. We saw her leave to go get a glass of water, and, bang, we quickly placed the travelling tabasco sauce into her tote bag. Let's see how she reacts...

Yes, I get paid for this. But yesterday I missed my beloved Naveen Andrews because I was working late, so I have to find ways to keep this job tolerable. In truth, I don't think I'm the kind of person who can do a job like this for a sustained amount of time. I'm not a believer in the work should not consume your life mantra- well, I should say, I believe in it, for some people, but not for myself. I want work to consume my life. I want to be so passionate about what I do that I would be willing to forsake all else to concentrate on it. Such a feeling is not possible with my current position. Which is why I often post manically about being in despair- what if I don't get back to doing something that I believe in? That question keeps me constantly unnerved.