I will try to fix you

I wanted to be there by May at the latest time

The air in Durango made me dizzy and woozy. When I first planned the trip, I thought I would go mountainbiking on one of the easier trails there. That aspiration was quickly set aside when I woke up feeling like I was nursing a hangover. While A and other ridiculously fit people tackled the trails, an injured friend and I lounged around the house trying to get our bearings. But you don't go to Colorado to sit around reading magazines.

The next day, we strapped on a pair, and went to Mesa Verde National Park, to see these Anasazi cliff dwellings. No picture can capture them, especially none taken by me. I recall that I stood and marvelled at them for a long time, trying in vain to imagine an average Anasazi day. It was difficult to separate how much of my mind spinning could be attributed to awe, and how much to altitude sickness.

There is a lookout point in Mesa Verde National Park where you can see the mountains stretch out to meet the horizon. You can't see where the range ends; it just blends into the sky. Looking at such a view, you can imagine for a moment a world without technology, can envision a time when someone would think a cliff in the middle of nowhere was a good place to call home.

But here, that's a harder concept to grasp. A little over 48 hours ago, my hard drive had a meltdown. Shortly thereafter, I had one. I never thought I needed technology; I don't actually own a computer myself. It made my work seem all the more inconsequential and meaningless, then, when I was completely paralyzed upon the loss of a hard drive. And instead of feeling independent of technology, I felt stupid for not owning my own laptop, on which I could store my most precious iTunes playlists and favorite pictures. When I went on a fishing expedition on the back-up servers, I discovered this photograph. A strange calm settled upon me, and I found myself lost in thoughts of the past and the ever-near future.

Random tangent: here's a useful tip that I learned from watching Lost: if you're boarding a plane and notice that everyone is ridiculously good-looking and/or is exhibiting Yoda-like qualities, it might behoove you to catch another flight. Just something to keep in mind.