Wednesday, July 13, 2005

a heart that wants to settle and then runs away

Want to know what got me through the day? A wink from the suitable one. And the comments section. Why isn't it July 31st yet?!?

I take that back, on the other hand. I need time, I am running woefully behind schedule on everything. Which is fine. Another benefit of experience- panic ebbs a bit when you've seen the surge of stress rise higher than this, and survived it just fine.

If you are an iTunes user, it should be noted that you can download Athlete's Wires this week for free. You know, if you're into pseudo-emo-WB-esque music. Which, apparently, I am.

NPR's Morning Edition caught on to the MTV Desi news this morning. It also gave Dhamaal and (cringe) 1015 Folsom a shout-out. Why couldn't they have been playing at Club Six when they covered the story? Oh, and last night, tired from my flight from Seattle, I decided to check out what kind of nonsense MTV could pollute me with. Never underestimate MTV when it comes to causing brain damage. I was altered, people. The Real World was on, and I couldn't even keep my attention focused on it, so I walked out of my living room. I was tooling around in the kitchen when I heard something horrifically inappropriate. MIA's Galang... juxtaposed with The Real World: Austin. The hard wiring in my brain had considerable trouble with that one. Does not compute. Must self-destruct. It must be South Asian music month or something.

Now I must go brush up the dreaded CV. I am about 85% certain that a major move lies in my not-too-distant future. There remain things to work out, and there is the whole matter of knowing I need to do this, but don't necessarily want to do this. But what does that mean anyway? It's a cop-out, I suppose, to say I have to do something. I have free will, no one is forcing me to do anything. It's the conflict that comes with knowing that you have to do something that may cause some unhappiness in the short term but will lead to the right conclusion eventually. It's a silly way of saying that there are some trade-offs I'm going to have to make. Still, here I am at 85%. That must be some sort of tipping point.

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