Tuesday, July 19, 2005

words are very unnecessary


While reading Maddox's most recent diatribe yesterday, I realized I'm part of the problem. The larger problem is that I don't wholly disagree with most of his gripes with (cringe) blogging. Still. I figure as long as I don't take any of this very seriously, be thankful for the handful of people who find some slight amusement from these words, and use it as a place to write just for the sake of writing, then there's no harm done. I do feel badly for clogging. But I got to meet two really nice people in person out of it so far, and count a number of people as friends even though I've never actually met them. So. Someday I will come out of the closet. I can now use that term in every regard, since the Suitable One recently pointed out that, by not being married or not being in a particular rush to get married, I may count myself amongst the South Asian Queer. I knew there was a reason I feel so at home here in San Francisco.

My judgment has been for crap lately. The last two weeks, I have been in a real whine-fest about the perfect storm that seems to have become my life. But I've started to wonder if I'm not bringing it upon myself. Most people try to counteract unhappiness with happiness. That is a normal reaction; mine often involves trying to heap on more misery. I can't help wondering if I haven't been making a mess of things lately just to stir the already brewing pot, pushing it all to some critical point where the dam can't hold anymore.

One bad judgment call- I decided to hike Sweeney Ridge on Saturday. SP and I knew nothing about it beforehand, only that we wanted to get some fresh air on such a nice day. We didn't pay attention to all the reports about heat waves in the area, because, in San Francisco, there's always a place where you can find solace. Unfortunately, Sweeney Ridge is not that place. It's completely exposed, and worse yet, most of the trail is paved. Paved. I thought I was going to spontaneously combust a few times.

Luckily, SP took over the decision-making from there and took me to Rainbow Grocery. I love it there, and even though it's actually quite close to my place, I don't go very often. I have real trouble with restraint there, and I always walk out feeling mugged. Basically, if you put me in front of a row of ten types of sugar and flour in bins, I'll convince myself that a) I'm a professional baker and b) I need everything in each one of those bins. This time, I managed to rationalize that I had to have maple sugar. What am I going to do with this maple sugar? I have no clue. Suggestions welcome. Since I managed to keep my spending relatively in check, I congratulated myself by splurging on blood oranges. The result of this indulgence is the posted picture. Yes, I know I can't take a photograph to save my life, thanks for noticing. But let me tell you, it was delicious.

Here's my unpopular rant for the day- it really annoys me that the Supreme Court justice nomination process is so biased. I don't mean liberal/conservative leanings. I'm talking about something more basic. Prior to Sandra Day O'Connor's retirement announcement, speculation was rampant about the next Supreme Court nominee, likely to replace Rehnquist. At the time, most of the nominees under discussion were men. Now, all of a sudden, because it turns out to be O'Connor who's saying sayonara, the nominee is likely to be a woman. I find that discouraging. It's not that I don't want the next nominee to be a woman. But that woman should have been on the list before the O'Connor news. It's ridiculous that we make such a show of having women and minorities in positions in government when it's done in this way- it just makes it all the more obvious that it's appeasement of a kind. Grr.

Dude, this is exactly the sort of rambling that would get me in big trouble in Maddox's book. Oh well, apologies- but then again, no one's forcing you to read this. Hell, I don't even read it half the time.

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