Saturday, December 30, 2006

been lying right here on the floor

Well, that was a longer hiatus that I expected. In fact, it was so long that there might be doubt as to whether I made it out of Austin. I did, in fact, but then again, I didn't, not in one piece exactly. Some evil blood relation of mine infected me with the mother of all nasty bugs (oh, thanks flu shot, by the way, you really came in handy this year). That meant that I got off the airplane and about two hours later got the Christmas miracle of a brain-stalling sinus infection. My cousin K knew I was in bad shape when she placed both a chocolate chip cookie and a box of Junior Mints on her kitchen table, and I failed to show an interest in either. That is cause for serious concern when I am involved.

It was a bit surreal, being looked after by K. I'm usually not into martyrdom when it comes to illness. Usually, I cop to feeling under the weather, call it an early night and nurse myself back to normal strength. Either because I was on vacation or because I usually feel I should be the one looking after K, I kept obstinately proclaiming that I would soon be on the mend, only to get dizzy from walking across the room. K finally ordered me to stay in bed and drink hot liquids for the remainder of my time in Houston.

This made my trip to Austin all the more of a fiasco. First, I didn't get to spend the proper time wandering around Houston that I usually do- there was no jaunt to the CAM or the Rothko Cathedral or any such thing this time. Second, I missed out on meeting a bunch of bloggers who were in the area, including Abhi, who I have yet to meet, and J, who celebrated a birthday while I was trying to get my ears to pop. Looks like I may have to make another trip to Houston in 2007.

On the upside, there was absolutely no danger of anyone invading my personal space on the flight home. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Desi kept everyone anxiously downing Airborne's and contemplating air-mask purchases.

It has been a really bizarre year. I do not know if I will have a chance to write anything tomorrow, even though there is so much I want to write. I had a lot of time to think during my time in Texas, which was much needed, since so much of the past year went by so quickly that there was little time to process it. It was a rollercoaster ride of a year, but I do not think I would want to take back any of the lows. I am a big believer in the domino effect. Some of the lows were frustrating and disappointing and even regretful, but I can't regret them, because without them, I cannot be certain that I would be here, with so much suddenly blooming, like a rosebud opening its petals.

In so many ways, I cannot believe the year that I have ahead of me. It is overhwelming and awe-inspiring and exciting all at once. I don't make resolutions, but I have plans. I have plans, and not all of them are tangible. There are places I want to go, yes. But there are also relationships I want to mend, and relationships I want to leave behind. And most of all, I want to take the time to better myself, to separate the endearing quirks from the areas for growth. It's a funny thing about wanting- once you get what you want, you find yourself so elated that you dare to want more.

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