I won my own pet virus

No one knows for sure how viruses came to be. They are smaller than bacteria, just barely the size of some proteins. We’re talking small. You can’t see them with a light microscope. You're not likely to catch them in the fossil record. But we know they’ve been with us for a long time. Even in ancient Egyptian paintings, there is evidence of people afflicted with polio.

There are three main theories regarding how viruses became what they are today. The first is regressive evolution. This idea supposes that a virus was, once upon a time, a parasite, that enjoyed burrowing into cells and hijacking them. Eventually, the parasite decided not to maintain its independence. It sacrificed its ability to replicate by itself, so happy was it within the cell’s confines. There are proven examples of this in nature— chloroplasts and mitochondria. Both are essential to cell viability, but both were once independent organisms. A romantic theory, maybe- in sort of an I need therapy co-dependent way.

The second hypothesis is cellular origin. The idea here is that some component of a cell, a macromolecule or a protein of some sort, evolved over time to replicate by itself. The student becomes the master theory, if you will. Or more accurately, the student goes free-agent and decides to kick the master’s ass (see Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon for a demonstration).

The final hypothesis is independent co-evolution. This supposes that viruses have been around since the origin of life, and just proceeded along their own evolutionary chain, separate from cells. There’s a lot to love about this final hypothesis. For one thing, that these tiny things that defy the definition of life and not-life have been around from the very beginning is awe-inspiring. It’s like they’ve always played Lex Luthor to our Superman. What’s the point of superheroes without good villains? For another thing, the biology of viruses are complex, but in a completely different way than anything else you see in nature.

But what strikes me particularly is how, even though they could be considered separate from the rest of evolution, they may be intimately connected with our evolution anyway. Think about how viruses may have influenced evolution. Why do viruses, like the one during the influenza epidemic of 1918, infect many, but not all people? Is there not some sort of pressure being applied to the system by the virus? In some weird way, haven’t we needed viruses just as much as viruses have needed us?

No one knows the true answers to any of these questions. Some people may question the merits of even asking the question. But if you believe everything is about coming full circle, and a part of me does believe that, you have to want to know. How can we ever figure out how to definitively deal with viruses if we don’t know how they came to be?

As you may have guessed, I have a big crush on the class I just started taking. Okay, let’s take it a step further: I am hot for teacher. This is a problem, folks, and it is not my fault. You cannot stand there and lecture me passionately about viruses for three hours, and expect me not to melt. This does not bode well for my future endeavors. A little knowledge is a dangerous thing.