your feet don't touch the ground

Lack of sleep + traveling for work + obnoxious moron co-workers= stressed b*tch. At least, that is the excuse I am going with for now. I really should not be allowed to blog. Still, let me just say that yesterday, someone actually said out loud, in all gravity, "movement is momentum, people."

Q and I were once working in the same position, but in different fields. One night he said to me, "Well, you know as well as I do that this type of job sucks the substance right out of you after a year or two." And now I have been doing this for over three years. If it weren't for writing, taking classes, and trying to hatch a master plan to kick this habit altogether, I would feel like an empty shell of a human being.

Many people would take a different point of view on this. Many are who they are, and their work is not a defining attribute. I understand that; I even envy it. And who knows- maybe one day, it will be me. But not today. I have also given up on beating myself up for not finding more contentment in work and life- a little restlessness provides good fuel, and fuel gets harder to come by as time passes.

In other news, GCW will never sit next to me on a plane. I plopped down next to him. He looked at me dolefully and said, quietly, "You know, I really do not like flying." Without even pausing to give it any thought, I proceeded to tell him that I have always calmed myself down by rationalizing that I have had a good run. Let's call it the oh well! approach to flying. Without stopping to gauge his horror at this admission, I next relayed my brother's rationalization: life isn't all that great anyways. This is why I never understand it when people think I am cynical. Check out the misanthropy on the hermano!

When I finally did stop to take a glance at GCW, he was mortified, knuckles white as they gripped the arm rest. I paused and said, "Probably not the best time to tell you all of this, is it?" He nodded, clearly disturbed. "You're never flying anywhere with me again, are you?" I asked.

GCW, solemnly, gave it a moment's thought, staring straight in front of himself. Then he turned to me and said, "No." I couldn't help but laugh, which only made the situation worse.