the date stamped on myself

Sure, it is not football season, but Saturday, I made a rare pilgrimage to the gym, and freaked out the guy on the elliptical next to me by letting out unhidden glee and giggles over the news on the television. Jerky McOwens is heading to the Dallas Cowboys. What perfect news! What beautiful convergence. How fitting that the infamous moment that I like to call Ego has Landed involves both of these entities. Owens, with his typical sportsmanlike behavior, kept up the over-the-top antics of celebrating his touchdowns by running all the way to midfield and spiking the ball on the Cowboys logo. I still remember how revolting the spectacle was, and how I begrudgingly felt empathetic towards George Teague, who took Owens out hard the second time he pulled this at the stadium. Who hasn't wanted to clock Owens, after all? If I am not mistaken, it was this incident that really established the need to have regulations on how much these idiots are allowed to gloat about their TDs.

Anyway, I had been hoping Owens would wind up with the Cowboys. I have never been a fan of the Cowboys, and they seem to have a history of attracting some of the most obnoxious players in the sport (Michael Irvin, report to the front desk please)- so Owens ending up there makes life easier for me. And you know, I'm sure that's what everyone was worried about when they were planning this deal, so Tagliabue, thanks for doing right by a sister!

For those of you waiting for a larger font, it will happen. I have altered things slightly in the hopes that it will be more legible, but I forgot, when I was asking your opinion, that I actually have the html savvy of a third-grader. So, figuring out how to make all of this more legible is probably going to take some time. And then there is the pesky matter of having a font large enough for general legibility, but small enough to stay true to me and my very small thoughts. But clearly, the votes have been cast in a resounding manner. I am rather amazed you have managed to read all this nonsense at all, given how teeny you find the font. So, thanks for your patience.

And yes, that may well be the most boring paragraph I have ever written on this blog. Now, in deference to J, I am going to mention none of the plot-specifics of last night's episode of The Sopranos. But can I just tell you that I am so happy this show is back on the air? I think it may have restored some much-needed structure to my Sunday evenings. Besides which, even in all the darkness of New Jersey mafioso maneuverings, you get such classic moments as Paulie Walnuts calling A.J. Van Helsing. Yes, I know this makes no sense to non-Sopranos viewers, but allow me to suggest that there are better throwaway one-liners on this show than most situation comedies.

Anyway, to continue along with random, tangential nothingness, I figured out why I was calm and still this weekend. Neurons deliver signals when they are electrically excited to a certain threshold. Once they have reached this threshold, there is no going back. Everything that happens next just exacerbates things, until the voltage reaches a certain peak.

Once the voltage reaches this peak, finally, channels open to counteract the voltage. This is actually the point when the neuron fires its signal. The voltage drops as a result of the compensatory channels, and even drops a little too far. During the time that the voltage is dropping and returning back to its resting state, it cannot be excited by another signal. This is known as the refractory period.

I think there is a point in here somewhere. Last week, everything was bearing down on me, probably unreasonably so. Every last thing was just serving to heighten my sense of panic and frustration. And then I reached some kind of pinnacle where my heart was beating too quickly, where I could not breathe, the air suddenly too thin. Somehow, I shut down after that. I closed up for business, inhaled deeply, and set about taking care of what was in front of me. And during that time, I was invincible. I was in a refractory period.

Of course, now it is Monday again.

Also, is the universe conspiring against me? Because this weekend, at three different places, I heard Lonely People, which is simultaneously about loneliness and hope. This is for all the lonely people, thinking that life has passed them by. Don't give up until you drink from the silver cup and ride that highway in the sky. Hmm. So, basically, look on the bright side: you're not dead yet. Lovely thought, that.