if the fates allow

I am a little surprised that no one was horrified that I conjure up images of Keanu Reeves in my head to calm myself down. But, because I cannot seem to stop talking about the morbid movie I saw on Wednesday, I have to share this next bit. Co-worker GBF called me the next morning to commiserate on how damaged we were from the film and he confessed this: "Listen, if you tell anyone this, I will deny it and tell everyone you are on prescription pain meds, but do you know what I had to do to fall asleep on Wednesday night? I had to listen to Amy Grant's Christmas Collection." Come on, that sh*t is funny.

After the GBF's admission, I have been indulging in more holiday kool-aid than is appropriate for this time of year. It is not even Thanksgiving yet, and I have become irrationally distracted by thoughts of Christmas (which is even stranger when you note that I have no religious connection to the holiday at all). Most of this revolves around baking, I think. Unlike last year, this year I want to avoid the mad scramble by having a plan. But it means I need some time to myself to catch my breath. And that does not look like it is going to happen for a bit.

That is fine as well. I have noticed that often I am devising some game plan subconsciously. In the back of my head, little daydreams allow me to think about things, things that will need to be more tangible and defined some day, but not today. Even some larger realizations just push themselves forward from the back of the crowd. My brain forces it front and center as if to say, look what I figured out while you were determining how to renew your vehicle registration.

The only important aspect, I suppose, is to take that moment to recognize what has been sussed. I definitely figured something out today, and though it does not need words, it does need time to take more form. The trick is keeping it inside my head, so that the realization does not slip away like sand through fingers.

Rundown and grumpy, I had maisnon for company last night, much to her misfortune. I am sad to report that I was really no fun at all. All I could offer up was Borat being interviewed by Jon Stewart. Even though I had very little to do with that, it was sidesplitting entertainment. Someone needs to explain Sacha Baron Cohen's new fascination with poking fun at Madonna. I feel like there is some backstory I am missing, given that Ali G appeared in one of Madonna's videos before Cohen had much of a following.

Tomorrow- it's Chai time.