Thursday, March 29, 2007

hold on to nothing as fast as you can

Even though I would like to get everyone to convert to FNL fanaticism, the show has actually reached such a level that all I can do is say- your loss, suckers. And don't ever complain about all the crap on television these days.

Also, I'm shaking my head at the news that Bono has been knighted. The size of his head may now actually cause real problems for population density in Ireland.

In other news, I realized today that I have already started the process of living in a new place, in a way. Slowly, but most certainly, there has been a shift of the plates beneath the surface, and I am drifting away. Surprisingly, it is not even me pushing away. It's only natural, I tell myself, and try not to take it personally. And mostly that works.

I'm sorry to report that my life is rather boring at the moment, in some ways. Yes, there are all the frenetic thoughts to do with moving and uncertainties of where exactly I am headed. But that's not all that interesting, when you really examine it- it's more about motion than thought. And unfortunately, though it's motion and not thought, it requires the brain to focus, to concentrate on the mundane details on a checklist.

So, much as I wanted, today, to write about science, I find I can't, simply because my brain continues to forbid me to wander into that kind of a daydream. I have been happening upon the occasional random thought, like, apropos of nothing whatsoever last night, I wondered- what must it have been like to take a maiden voyage on the first ship that crossed an ocean? In those early days. At first it must not have been frightening, because why should it be? Should the ship be built poorly, should it crumble apart from the weight of its freight or its passengers, you can still swim safely to shore. But out adrift in the middle of the Atlantic, what must it have been like? What kind of an unsettling feeling to know there were no guarantees and no land in sight and no hopes of rescue? It gives the term seasick an entirely different meaning.

And yet, that's sort of the beauty of exploration- the odd mix of bravery and stupidity. Or maybe not stupidity, but willful ignorance. You have to look at the risks with a hard stare, face them, and then completely sweep them out of your mind.

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