Tuesday, March 13, 2007

so I cynically, cynically say the world is that way

Anyone who reads this nonsense regularly knows that I mostly avoid writing about much to do with politics. I am never really intelligible when I go on a tear about politics, and I always feel inadequately informed to present a cogent argument. So, you know what's really smart? Start ranting about history and the state of the world with someone who is ten times more informed and intelligent than you. That'll impress 'em.

Okay, but one interesting aspect of the conversation that ensued centered, strangely enough, on negativity. I don't know how I decided to go off on this tangent, but I started recounting all the momentous events that occurred during my lifetime- and they were all bleak. I've been teased before that I can be rather glass half empty at times. I think it's actually that, occasionally, I can be so idealistic and hopeful that I am inevitably bitterly disappointed by reality.

The other thing I realized, now that the GG&T's are out of my system, is that I am always suspicious of the big things. I am suspicious of how good the big things can ever be. I sometimes wonder if this is at all related to science. I believe in atoms, and molecules, and proteins, I believe in their integrity, but I also know how chaotic the organization of such small units are, and how the most successful, efficient organizations often lead to insidious issues, like cancer and infectious diseases. I suppose I always find the macro level to be more vulnerable to corruption. So I guess I can believe in the inherent good in small endeavors. After listing out the various bleak events of this lifetime, in searching for the silver lining, most of the things I have come up with have to do with local, small changes, grassroots efforts that amounted to good- 826Valencia, keeping Kepler's Bookstore in business, getting Rick Santorum out of office, these sorts of things.

It has been a while since I last drank a scotch. It has also been a while since I have gone out on a Monday night. For that matter, it has been a while since I have gone out, as I have been on house arrest, either staving off allergy-inducing pollen and dust mites or cleaning my apartment. So, last night, with the weather of unusual perfection and the good company and the night-ending MacAllan 12, was a welcome respite. It was a sort of pause, a catching of the breath in the middle of a run-on sentence.

And now it's off to the races again.

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