when you finally disappear, will they say you were never here?

I am just full of all kinds of smooth moves this week. Today, it's choosing to listening to The Arcade Fire's Cold Wind on a nice continuous loop, when I am already grumpy because I've had to be in for 8 a.m. meetings all week. You know, because when you are feeling run down and irritable, it's a really great idea to listen to lyrics like these:

if you're going to San Francisco
lay some flowers on the gravestone
there's music on the station
but I'm just listening to cold wind whistling

What can I say? Sometimes, I'm just filled with brilliance.

Right now, I rather yearn to write about the latest research indicating that the p53 gene plays a role in triggering the suntan response as a protective measure, or better yet, about the latest insight into the complexities of cells committing suicide (I think Cell subscription is required to read both links). But see, that would require real thought and semi-coherence, and I'm lacking in both of those departments right now. So, I'll just spare you.

I can't tell if my brain is not functioning, if it's functioning at half-speed, or if it's overstimulated. Maybe it's been fluctuating amongst the three. Maybe it's just that there is so much action that there is no time to process any of it. That's probably for the best: navel-gazing can be necessary at times, but it can also be dangerous to spend too much time examining everything in excruciating detail. I know, I know- said the jerk with the blog. But all the same, I am trying to get comfortable with the notion that I might just have to live for the next few months.