Monday, August 21, 2006

don't waste your time or time will waste you

Sweet sassafras. The craziness has reached a crescendo, and now it may be descending. Or perhaps I am descending- into madness. Really, this space is starting to reach Gogol-esque levels of illogical rambling. Thanks for sticking with me, for those of you who have. I would berate those of you who have abandoned me, except, well, you're gone (and maybe I don't really blame you either).

But anyway, there appears to be some cause for hope. I got some news on Friday that means I will be in NYC in a few weeks. NYC in September? Yes, please! Unfortunately, it will be a hop, skip, and a jump, because I have to get back in time to go to Seattle for work. This should be great fun, given all the current travel restrictions.

Friday, I am taking the day off to plan out a trip in October. AL popped up out of the blue and invaded my vacation plans, but I do not really mind- even though I am enthusiastic about traveling on my own, I like the idea of AL dropping in for a few days to turn everything up to eleven and remark on how everything is wicked awesome. I have to work out whether I will be able to go visit my friend W as part of this vacation.

It is admittedly ridiculous to take a day off of work just to plan a vacation, but really, that is necessary at the moment. This morning, there were at least three incidents in an hour when I was on the phone with one person while another one was calling on the other line. Sweet sassy molassy, b*tches, back off!?! Before you all give me a lecture about quitting my job, let me say that it's all good. I haven't acknowledged it a whole lot, but I can now that it's almost Wednesday. For the past 6 weeks, I have actually, literally had to do two jobs. This is all while trying to keep things going on The Goal. So, even though there were days when I wanted to tear my hair out, or inflict harm on others, I can now look back on it and actually be a bit impressed that I am still sentient (sort of).

Here's the thing- the other job I was covering is actually more demanding than mine. So, this morning, I had to give a presentation to a room filled with Sr. VPs and the CEO. Some people get a rise out of such things, but I am here to tell you that I am not one of them. Oh, and this morning, when the phone was ringing off the hook? That was right before the presentation, so you can guess how much time I had to prepare ahead of time. For the most part, it was not actually a big deal. It's amazing how much easier things are when you really just don't care. As I said to my work GBF, shrugging, "What are they going to do? Fire me? This is a win-win situation for me."

And then my work GBF responded, "Honey, you know what Janis Joplin said- 'Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose.'" And that made me laugh, which is always good before you present to a bunch of suits.

The only thing that required firm prevention of eye-rolling was this question from one of the Senior Veeps: "I know this is a difficult question to ask. But, what would you learn later that would make you regret what you are asking us to do today?" WTFFFFFF?!? First of all- that's actually a pretty easy question to ask, mofo. It's answering it that requires using the force and maybe a bottle of whiskey.

Lucky for me, I have learned some things from this corporate indentured servitude. You know the way Neo gets wired such that he says, "I know Kung Fu"? Well, after getting assimilated by the Borg, I can honestly say, "I know BS." Dudes, resistance is futile. And let me tell you, it came in handy, because I came up with some Grade A, choice BS for the occasion. And it worked. Which is good- because tomorrow I move forward with applying for the new job that was offered to me. And guess whose department I'll join if I get the job? Senior Future-Perfect Veep.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go buy tickets to get to NYC!

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