Monday, August 07, 2006

I got to see that lie

For a while now, this space has really suffered. You may not have noticed it (because it may seem like it is always suffering from some malady or another), but ever since I have been meeting bloggers in real life, this space has taken on more constraints than it once had. Maybe that is a good thing, because I might have needed a little discipline, and perhaps it serves to curb the venting. Except that I think that the venting is still spilling out, only it is now unintelligible. There is this weird dichotomy that occurs then- writing used to be a way for me to be understood, and yet in some ways I spend a lot of time obscuring the truth. It has already been established that imposed structure and restrictions are not my thing. In fairness, I don't really know what I'm going on about. Or I do know, but I cannot figure out a way to articulate it. A part of me is reconsidering this constraint business, and just going no-holds barred into truthiness.

Do not ask me what brought all that on just now. In all truthiness, I had a completely drama-free weekend. And I did not even do any work. I have come to peace with the fact that I am an extremist. I would like to be more balanced, and I strive for that in certain aspects. But not when it comes to work ethic. That is a difficult thing to harness. So, I alternated between a weekend of self-imposed isolation and one that was so event-filled that I spent no longer than two hours in my apartment a day. I told myself last night that I would have to wake up this morning and convince myself into not being exhausted. But actually, I have not had to trick myself into it- I really do feel well-rested. I needed the extreme, because next weekend, it's back to agoraphobia central.

Anyway, I would love to recount the tales of this weekend, but right now they are a bit jumbled, and I am a bit jumbled, and it will take time for both to be properly unentwined. In the meanwhile, I will mention that at the SM meetup yesterday, the details of which I will have to outline in a separate post, I felt, as usual, inevitably uncool as I confessed that I was planning to go see BTE last night. This morning, I would like to retract my sheepishness. Really, however unhip or untrendy it is to go see a band that supposedly peaked in the 90s, I dare anyone to find a better band that performs live. Not only is their sound and playing impeccable, but they also have a genuinely good time on stage. These guys love music. Any band that covers James' Laid, Rolling Stones' Miss You, plays a riff of Sunday Bloody Sunday while impersonating Bono, works a stanza of The Cure's Fascination Street into the end of their song, and makes references to Snakes on a Plane and Entourage in one night is alright by me. Oh, and seeing them at The Independent? Very nearly my idea of perfection.

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