Thursday, August 23, 2007

but it's just a little piece of me

You guys kind of rock my world with all your indulgence in my rantings and ravings. I want to note a few things:
  • It turns out that age has nothing to do with it-- I won't go into the details, but I had an encounter today proving it.

  • It's also not nearly as bad as I made it out to be. It's just that something boiled to the surface yesterday and I just let it all out. But there are actually a number of tolerable people. And actually, it wasn't the people that were really bothering me.

To that last point, there is more to add, really. There is a certain reflexive action I always have, invariably, when someone tries to coax me into doing something by saying that it's what is done. I buck like one of those mechanical bulls in seedy bars. I immediately recoil. Peer pressure has always had a negative effect on me. If people insist that we should all find this unmanageable and impossibly difficult, I am skeptical. If instructors tell me I'm going to have a new set of best friends so I won't miss my old best friends, I am skeptical.

Also, I don't like the judgment that comes with it. I do not make friends the way some people make friends. I'm from EBF on the East Coast, and there, you remain aloof, you wait. You don't just befriend every friendly face. Maybe that's not a great thing, but there's also nothing wrong with easing into friendships. And I don't like people exerting pressure for me to act a certain way that is against my nature.


Anyway, this is awfully boring. It's funny the things that I love though. Like doing a load of laundry. Like coming home exhausted and chopping up vegetables and roasting potatoes for my week's lunch. Like walking to class while reciting the muscles that make up the rotator cuff. Little, stupid things. But things that tell me I am happy to be here, and, more than that, that I know what I need to keep me happy here. And let me tell you, it has nothing to do with building relationships.

In other news, when the hell do the fall television shows start up? If I'm going to waste time slacking off, I'd like to do it with 30Rock or Friday Night Lights, rather than my current brain-numbing fare of The Hills and Top Chef.

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