Back to being calm. No explanation, really. No rhyme or reason to why I get all unnerved and overly ambitious one day and feel totally calm the next. But I'm getting pretty accustomed to living life on a roller coaster. I collected more evidence today that I think completely differently from other students, and for no logical reason, it somehow quelled any anxiety that might have been developing. I should feel alienated, as if it was even more data suggesting that I am a square peg being jammed into a round hole. Strangely, I feel happy to still have my corners, to not be dulled and molded.
Another oddity- I pretend I have this support network, and that's why I am glad to be in California. I pretend there are all these people to turn to. It's not really pretend, in the sense that I could turn to them- there are really sweet people who would gladly take me in should I need refuge. But right now, I relish the fact that I am totally alone here, that I have the time and space to work out exactly how to do this in the healthiest way possible for me. I just hope they'll all still be speaking to me when I've sorted that out, and am in need of adult conversations that do not involve questions on an exam or whether so-and-so is going to break up with his girlfriend or not.
On a completely different and far more important note, I just wanted to observe a very sad two-year anniversary. As Maitri has pointed out, two years later, still so much needs to be done. In case you haven't been following it, NPR has been knocking them out of the park one after another with coverage of how the area is faring two years later. And it has been pretty balanced, and as such, I have to say that I grew more outraged every day this week. What does it say about our country that politicians think immigration is a more important issue than Katrina? What does it say about us that politicians think these are our priorities?
It is bad enough that the handling of Katrina was so deplorable. What's far worse is the notion that the nation grew tired of talking about it. Or worse yet that, even now, knowing everything we know about how this disaster was exacerbated by flagrant mishandling, do people choose to talk about the looting that occurred during the hurricane. I know it's wrong to make snap judgments, but when people find the first noteworthy topic about Katrina to be the looting, I immediately hold those people under deep suspicion and question their awareness about the world, the country, and the administration currently governing us.
I don't mean to rant, but then again, maybe I do. It bothers me that there isn't still widespread ranting about this. It bothers me that elected officials can discuss that the war in Iraq was one mistake after another and claim it is now of paramount importance to fix that and turn the tide. Yet, those same officials are dodgy and shuffle their feet, and would be all too happy to pretend there is nothing left to be done in New Orleans.
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