sorry is the fool that trades his love for high-rise rent

Earbuds elicit the Elaine (yanking George's mop off his head)"This...I don't like this thing... and here's what I'm doing with it (throwing rug out the window)!" response from me. My beloved iPod mini & I attempted a run on the treadmill yesterday, but I resembled a mental patient because of the ticks developed trying to adjust/keep in place the damn earbuds that come standard with the iPod mini. I should take a moment to note that I mean this in no derogatory way towards my iPod mini. It's not my mini's fault; the poor thing was handicapped with these idiotic earbuds. The mini didn't know how much this would bother me, or the mini would have never done it. Incidentally, when I first got my beloved, I wrote to my friend W with this email:

"By the way, I've decided that I am going to marry my iPod mini. I'll be registering with iTunes, and we will be living happily ever after."

To which, W wrote back:

"You slept with the mini, didn't you?"

Baby needs a new pair of shoes, though. Or in this case, a new pair of headphones, not involving earbuds. Even with the earbud distraction, I had a really good run. It's been a while since I went for a serious run, but oh, did it feel good. Well, again, it was kind of an activation energy thing. I had to talk myself into going to the gym in the middle of a torrential downpour (my running shoes were soaked before I even walked into the gym). I did not enjoy the stitch in my side that developed during mile two of my run. None of that was really fun. It's the feeling that comes about forty five minutes later, what can only be attributed to endorphins, I suppose. I love that feeling. If I get back in the habit of running regularly, it will serve two very important purposes-

1) Increase the likelihood that Machu Pichu will not turn into a complete meltdown/Into Thin Air experience.

2) Help maintain the cease-whiner

Somehow I just seem in a better frame of mind when I'm running regularly. Maybe I just get too amped up to brood. Whatever it is, it works. And I know that running like a complete sissy is not going to get me in shape for Machu Pichu, but it sure can't hurt. Especially considering that I was gasping for air after a 2.5 mile run (and yes, I know most people don't consider a 2.5 mile run a serious run... and I know that at my pace it's a stretch to call it "running"). Cardiovascular fitness anyone??

Here's a great phone exchange from last night when I got home to my apartment (note that I never lied):

Caller: Hello, this is the SFPD. How are you doing tonight?
Me (convinced that someone is coming to lock me up): I'm fine, how are you?
Caller: I'm great, yeah... thanks... you know, no one ever asks me that.
Me: Oh really? (sounding a bit deflated, realizing that this is not a real heavy hitter of the SFPD)
Caller: Well, are your mom and dad in?
Me: No, they're not here right now.
Caller: Okay, well, thanks, we'll call another time.
Me: Okay.

That's what I get for picking up a phone call that says "Out of area" on the i.d. And that's what he gets for asking a question like that- yes, buddy, my mom and dad are out, because they live 3000 miles away. I'm going to have to poll my friends to find out if my voice sounds child-like.

The Australian Open continues to proceed in a bizarre, topsy-turvy manner. Hewitt beat Roddick. This makes me so happy. Roddick called his playmanship "money" after a match that he lost. The word asshat comes to mind. And if you think this kind of sports commentary is bad, wait until I get started on more NFL rants.

And just to make this unnecessary post even longer, today I had my first taste of real, genuine posterior-kissing. It threw me for quite a loop, because I had to fight the urge to like it. An inner dialogue was running through my head chanting "This is just because he's scared you're going to quit. This is just because so many other people have already left. This is just because he wants you to put in even more of your time. This is not a reason to think you should stay here. This is not good rationale for getting comfortable. You did not just hear him say your salary was going up considerably. Remember? You're not supposed to care about that right now. You have an iPod mini, you don't need anything else. Remember? No, you don't need an iShuffle. No. Stop!" People, I'm not made of stone. It's not easy to walk away from safety. But I'm dying for the chance to do it, just the same. So, as Vedder might say, here's to more memorable days:

"Sorry is the fool who trades his soul for a corvette
Thinks he'll get the girl, he'll only get the mechanic.
What's missing? He's living a day he'll soon forget."